Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Finding Hufflepuff

  Harry Potter, Ron, Hermione, they're all Gryffindors. But I do not delude myself; I'm not very brave. So Gryffindor was never really even an option. Pass.

Then there was Slytherin. Those kids scare me. Not to mention, I'm not evil, or ambitious, or whatever they're calling it these days. Pass.

  I next came upon Ravenclaw. Ravenclaw. My eyes opened wide in amazement. Perhaps I had found a home. I like to think I'm pretty smart, I love learning, and reading is my favorite hobby. I sat back for a while, starting to feel smug about myself. Ravenclaw.

  But then I realized that Ravenclaws are kind of snobby and think they're all that. We'll stealthily ignore the fact that I fell under their cocky, intoxicating spell  for a time. My husband is the perfect Ravenclaw. I couldn't be like him, God forbid. (Yes, he does read this occasionally.) So I looked around and saw...the Hufflepuffs.

       Ah, yes, the Hufflepuffs. And finally, I found my place.
      You see, though I am smart and love to learn, I always argue the
people-first position. As Pottermore so aptly asked, "Save the tomes of knowledge? Or save the people?" Puhleeze, you unethical Ravenclaw bastards, there is only one answer. (Pottermore sorted me into Ravenclaw, by the way. LIES!) And all of my other quirks would fit in here just fine.

                               We're Hufflepuffs, after all.

  Naively enthusiastic, I proudly claimed my Hufflepuff belonging.  I'd come to learn the hard truth that Hufflepuffs are, in fact, on the receiving end of a long line of mockery.

  After years of therapy and psychoanalysis, I realized that I could be comfortable with my true Hufflepuff nature, and I accepted those who find their joy in knocking us for the sad, pathetic, bitter fuckers they are.

Of course, I hold no grudges.

I still have huge reserves of Hufflepuff pride. How could I not? We're loyal, just, and unafraid of toil, after all. But best of all,

we're nice.

I concur.

I am so proud to be a badger.

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