Finding Passion

   I'm in school, studying biology. I first discovered that I might like biology when I dropped out of my last school's Education program. I was at a community college and they just didn't have that many options. So after finishing three years of an Education degree and deciding I didn't want to be a teacher, I dropped out of the program and switched to Nursing. I decided against nursing, too, but not before going through two Anatomy & Physiology classes. While in those classes, I recognized that some of the stuff we talked about was really fascinating.  To have the kind of complete understanding of the body's physiology that my professor did, I thought, would be pretty amazing. Those impressions stuck with me, so when I discovered naturopathic medicine about a year ago, things began to click. It seemed like a good fit. Damn, it seemed like a perfect fit.  My personality is such that I am drawn to careers that are full of idealism and purpose. One of my education professors once said that none of us would be there if we weren't idealists.  I can't justify going to a job every day and just working. It doesn't make sense to me, and I could never make myself do something I saw as menial and purposeless for the rest of my life. Which is why naturopathic medicine, which offers itself up as an alternative to the current flawed healthcare system, is great for me. It's the kind of career you go into to make a difference, making a statement in action.

   This is the first time I've felt this sort of passion for something, the first time I've sustained that passion and worked toward something for a substantial period of time. My passion for my original purpose when I chose to go back to school one year ago is no less now than it was then. The plan gives me purpose, a goal to work toward. And not just to get through school, but to really have an enduring knowledge of the human body, the human psyche; knowledge that can make a difference and that can help people.  This sort of knowledge isn't gained at once, or even entirely before you start working as a physician. I think it's an ongoing commitment and I don't think any patient deserves a physician who doesn't make such a commitment to learning.  

 Right now, in addition to studying for biology and chemistry, I'm reading God's Hotel by Victoria Sweet.  It's a memoir by a physician who worked in one of the nation's last almshouses before efficiency experts came in and began to dictate their practices and turn it into a modern healthcare facility. The reviews are amazing and it's very good so far.  It presents the idea that short-term efficiency equals poor-quality care and long-term inefficiency.  In other words, spending more time on patients is better in the long run (and definitely better for patients in the short run!).

   I love adding medical-related books to my Amazon wishlist, books that I'll hopefully one day be able to check off.  I get so excited (and impatient) when I think about going to graduate school, where I would finally get to do clinical work.  As a long-time dabbler, it's great to finally care about something so much, to have finally found something that I care enough about, and like learning about enough, that I will choose it over other things.  It just feels good.