Sunday, November 4, 2012

Need some hilarious NaNo inspiration?

  I know, I know.  One of the greatest pieces of NaNo advice is to get off the Internet, and yet here I am.  But I think you'll appreciate my finds over at Terrible Minds.  First, here is an excellent article called 25 Things You Should Know About NaNoWriMo.  Second, Mr. Wendig has left us with a prayer: less a supplication to the universe than a stubborn, slightly maniacal rant.  He encourages us to stand in front of a mirror and recite it to ourselves.  I dare you to do it!  I double dare you to do it without peeing yourself.
This book is almost complete. But challenges shall dog my every step. 
My hamstrings might snap like high-tension cables and take out one of my eyes. My back may bend and bow until my scoliosis allows me to pleasure myself with my mouth. My knee caps might shoot off, striking a Yeti in the eye which makes him really mad and so he comes over and tears both of my arms off and beats me about the head and neck with my own gore-spewing limbs. My mind may crumble under the assault, driven to the very precipice of sanity, staring down into the deepest yawning yawping abyss and as the Yeti howls and my synapses fire I will smell the scent of funeral flowers wafting up from that abyss and I will find it peaceful and comfortable and will realize how easy it would be to just pivot my hips just-so and go tumbling down into that satisfying darkness, the darkness of ease, the darkness of acquiescence, the milk-livered niddering darkness of sweet sweet cowardice. 
But I will do no such thing. 
I will soldier on. 
I will grab one of my severed arms in my teeth. 
I will flail my neck around until I slug the Yeti in his Yeti balls with one of my own dismembered limbs, and I will watch as he cries, “MROOOOOooooo!” 

  You can check out the prayer in its entirety here.  My word count is currently standing at 4500, and I need 6600 by the end of today.  So I think it's time for me to truly tell the Internets adieu.  So adieu.

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